Do you ever have a few good days and wonder when the next attack is going to happen. Maybe you will be lucky and you will be at home. And even if you are luckier the attack will only last a few moments without any throwing up. Do you spend a lot of time wondering when the next one will hit? Unfortunately I do, almost to a point that the stress might actually bring it on.
Lately I have been under more stress than I usually am, I am still on disability and I worry about that. It is a financial and emotional burden to bear but one that I don’t really have any choice. Although there are a lot of wonderful devices that are being tested right now to help cure Meniere’s disease it may be a while before I get the opportunity to get the device implanted. So the stress level is up and as I have said before stress is a trigger for me. I try to get as much rest as possible but I also have sleep apnea which makes sleeping tough.
So when I do have a few days without any attacks or light headiness I start to think that it is only a matter of time before my head will start spinning. After all these years of Meniere’s you would think that I can control my emotions but it is still difficult.
Remaining calm and not worrying about Meniere’s is something that I definitely need to work on.
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Wednesday, October 27, 2010
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11 comments:
hey david,
sorry that stress is doing such a number on you. is is really on of the most cruel aspects of this disease-the waiting. in some ways, i feel somewhat fortunate that i seem to have passed into the late stages (knock on wood) and don't have the awful out of the blue attacks anymore but i will never forget those feelings that come with them. now i just wonder if i'll ever be normal in terms of my balance and if i'll be stable enough to return to work. disability and money are stressing me as well. just had my 3rd gent a few days ago. are you still doing the gents?
hope you feel better soon. i know it's almost impossible but try not to think about it. as my doctor says, you can stress yourself into the next attack by worrying about it so much. but i say, easier said than done!!
nicki
David:
I think that is why many opt for laby, to take away the psychological aspects of impending attacks, but they probably worry about bilateral all the time, so it is a viscious cycle. All we can do at this point is wait for the device. The worry and fear of the next attack never ends. I don't care about my hearing, I just want to stop the vertigo.
Ron
David: I think the mental aspect of this disease is harder than the physical. It is the not knowing when the MM beast will strike again. I guess we are all holding our collective breath and praying for the research and the coming devices to put an end to it all. Stay strong David. We will know in a few short weeks about Gene P.
David I believe there would be a cure, but we don't have an animal model to study. Animals don't get MM only humans.
Kathryn
I understand what you mean. Even if it's not in the front of my mind all the time, I'm always a little worried. Especially, if I've planned to do something special.
My doctor calls this a disease of Random Punishment. It's like being in war, there isn't gun fire all the time, but you are constantly under the stress of the impending doom. My doctor also said he believes that this is one of the worst diseases you could have without it being fatal. (although sometimes I wish it was, anything to stop the spinning.)
I'm on day 5 of an attack right now. The first day was just a severe drop in hearing. The second day I had horrible vertigo, and throwing up for hours. Sometimes, it feels so much more violent than other times. The next day, I was tired, but my hearing was a little better and I thought I was coming out of it. Then yesterday I woke up spinning. When I finally got it under control I just went back to sleep. I slept most of the day.
Today I still can't hear, and every time I move the world moves a little too.
I will let you know when I have the lumbar puncture and what becomes of it. If the doctors are right and this is a possible cure, it could help us much sooner than the implants could. I could be put on medication by the 8th. I'm so afraid they will test me and everything will be normal. Another worry.
I wanted to let you know I changed my blog, I'm no longer blogging on Picnic with Ants, my new blog is 365 Days to a Healthier Me.
http://365daystoahealthierme.wordpress.com
This blog is about my journey at taking more control over my health and life. It focuses on the everyday life of a person with chronic illnesses trying to make her life as normal and as healthy as possible.
I hope to see you there.
Good luck.
@Nicki,
Right now I am through with gent injections, 6 is enough. I am glad you aren’t having the sudden attacks like before that’s good news and hopefully your balance will get better soon. I know it takes time after a gent injection.
Talk to you later
David
@Ron
It is a vicious cycle let’s hope the device works for Gene.
Thanks for commenting
David
@Kathryn,
Thanks for the comment and I hope you are feeling better also
David
@Wendy,
It sounds like you have really had it rough the past week I hope that your doctor can come up with something to help you out. That is interesting about the lumbar puncture, keep us informed on how that goes.
I will definitely check out your new web and makes changes to my blog list
David
The anxiety of waiting for a new attack can trigger a new attack - I´m sure aboute that. I´ve got some advise that helps me to manage through an attack. A doctor told me about panic-attacks and how to cope when you´ve got one. I don´t have panic-attacks but I get panic when I have a Menière-attack. The doctors advise was to not fight against the spinning but to breath and to "follow". I`ve tried to do this and it seems to work. The spinning is the same but my body is more relaxed and I can sometimes fall in sleep during an attack. I think you have to do relaxing- and breathing excersices when feeling ok at first!
Susanna
Hi Susanna,
that sounds like good advice! Going with the flow might be the way to go.
thanks for the comment
David
I agree with Susanna. I think probably one of the most important things for me was accepting that problems can come at any time and not to get too hung up about it; in other words, one needs to accept that life can always be disrupted by Meniere's. If you can organise yourself so that an attack doesn't then cause knock-on problems with your schedule and stress you out that way, it's a big step forward. Even now I'm not having attacks as such I still go on according to how I feel; I know that if I ignore it I will just make myself feel worse, so I have a rest or delay an activity until I feel better.
Hi Jeff,
thats good advice thanks
David
I agree with wendy this is horrible, beyond horrible my life has went to crap since this started 3 years ago., I can't seem to find happy because I'm always waiting for the hell of Menieres to set in, I have 2 little girls and I can't even enjoy taking them to the movies or to the park for fear it will hit while i'm there alone with my kids, this is like being under constant threat of fire... it SUCKS... :(
I certainly understand how you are feeling mm is pretty terrible
thanks for commenting and stay in touch
David
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